Fat Tuesday

Today is Fat Tuesday, marking the end of Mardi Gras, and the beginning of the Lenten season. It occurred to me, that is about the extent if my knowledge or dealings with the whole thing.  I usually like to get a King cake and eat Reuben sandwiches with my coworkers. I am not a “religious” person, I do not participate in lent, or much subscribe to the idea. But I love to participate in all the hoopla that everyone else is.  I want to experience it and not miss out on a minute of all the fun!  In my quest to find myself and reveal the happy, honest, and genuine person I am meant to truly be, I pondered the thought: would my experiences be much greater, more meaningful and fulfilling if my knowledge was more than skin deep? If I did things more for myself than for the sake of not missing out on what everyone else was doing. Since I was a little kid, like most, I have always wanted to be a “cool kid” and I always felt like I missed out because I was a dork.  I always felt like I was the last to know, that I was the brunt of the joke, that someone always knew more than I did, and I was left out.  Today, that’s same feeling haunts me when I am the last to know, or I think I am telling something for the first time, and someone says “I know”.  What I need to learn is, that’s life, and not everything is a personal vendetta against me. It likely has nothing to do with me. So today, I will Google king cakes and lent and enjoy my Fat Tuesday Reuben with the new spirit of enjoying things for me. I won’t miss out on the true meaning of things and rush through the experience just to be a part of the “cool kids” I will make my own experience meaningful!! Happy Fat Tuesday,
Eat, drink, and be merry!!
Christy

The faster I run….

It seems the farther I run away the closer I get to the issue at hand.  Call me crazy, but I just can’t get away from myself these days! Maybe its cabin fever, maybe its all the major life changes I am about to experience, but I find each day a challenge within itself to stay focused and positive.  I am working on living each day to its fullest and appreciating all that I have right before me in this moment. I am fighting the urge to panic and stress out. That fight or flight mechanism is programmed in my brain, way down deep where it has stayed safe and tucked away for all of my life.  I am a “flighter” by nature, when it doesn’t feel right I pick up and run. Quite literally actually. I have left entire lifetimes, families, friendships, careers, and very swiftly disappeared, with great distance as my safety net. But no matter how far I run, I am still there. Along with all my issues that caused me to run in the first  place.  They might take a little while to resurface in my new surroundings, but they always find their way back. You see, I believe The Universe has a way of presenting the lesson again and again until we learn it. (Or in my case, the 2×4 over my head). So I am slowing down a bit these days and trying to listen to myself and reassure myself that everything is going to work out just like it is supposed to.  Telling myself that I am a good person and that I deserve good things, that I have a lot to offer this world and my loved ones. All it takes is one step, be it good, bad, or indifferent, to set the path in motion. One step, slow, deliberate, positively taken to experience , learn, grow and make a difference.
Have a fantastic day!! Christy

(Not really) De-railed

I haven’t taken the time to post on here lately, and I am aggravated at myself for that.  See, I promised myself when I started this blog, that I would post everyday, and NOT let life get in the way.  Well, turns out old habits die hard.  But I also promised myself that I would stop being so hard on myself, and no more finding reasons to beat myself up.    So here I go, each day is a new day, a chance to start over.   I have so many reasons to be thankful and so many new things happening in my world.  I am blessed beyond my years and the happiest I have ever allowed myself to be.  Here is to Valentine’s Day, a day set aside to tell those you Love what they mean to you.  Each day should be Valentine’s Day, never let a day go by without sharing your love, your heart and your REAL you.
Have a fantastic day,
Christy